The Nutcracker RK Style
by digiblue00
Summary: The title explains it. The famous Christmas story with a twist, a senseless fic with our favourtite and lovable RK characters!


The Nutcracker RK Style!

**(A/N: Ok in the spirit of x'mas, I got this quirky idea to write a fanfic about 'The Nutcracker'. Do not throw stones or rotten plum pudding at me!)**

_Scene One..._

"Ding dong!"

"He's here!"

The doors were quickly opened to reveal a grumpy looking man holding a large brown sack.

"Godfather Seijuuro! Merry Christmas!" Screamed the excited children to the grumpy man.

"Yeah yeah… Whatever. I only agreed to star in this fic because this fic was lacking in star quality and because I was promised a lifetime supply of sake by a certain someone."

The man stomped into the living room and with a loud thump placed the large sack on the floor.

"Oh boy… toys…" Came the 'excited' voice of a certain Myoujin Yahiko. "Whoopie… This better be good…"

Misao ran forward to peer into the sack. "Did you get me my Aoshi-sama for Christmas?" She poked into the bag, digging through all the toys hoping for a glimpse of Shinomori Aoshi. Finally she saw a rather large present with her name written on it.

She excitedly unwrapped the present to find… a samurai nutcracker that looked strangely like a certain Tenken no Soujirou…

"WHERE'S MY AOSHI-SAMA!"

The rest of the cast (along with those behind the scene) covered their ears from Misao's deadly scream.

While Misao was still screaming, a very bored-looking Yahiko walked up to his 'sister' and in an extremely dead-pan voice said, "Why does she have a nutcracker and I don't… It's not fair… I want one also… Can I go back now?" As a very dazed Yahiko with a large bump on the head was dragged off the stage by an extremely angry looking Kaoru by the collar, his right arm accidentally knocked the nutcracker in Misao's outstretched hand and it fell to the ground.

The impact caused the head of the nutcracker to fall off.

Misao stopped screaming to look at the fallen nutcracker. "Am I supposed to be angry over this broken nutcracker thingy?" (Misao sneaks a quick glance at the rest of the cast backstage)

"Err… Yahiko you idiot?"

At this point a confused Hiko Seijuuro walks up and hastily fumbling for the handkerchief in his pocket, clumsily reattaches the head of the nutcracker.

"There, I fixed it. Now give me my sake."

Misao sends the older man a death glare. "I wasn't the one who promised the sake so don't look at me."

Grumbling, Seijuuro walks off the stage mumbling about promises that were supposed to be kept.

_Scene Two… _

As the clock strike twelve midnight, Misao crept down the stairs to look at her now bandaged nutcracker.

"Ok… the line was… err… Oh yeah! My poor nutcracker! If only you were alive!"

At that, the surroundings began to change and the Christmas tree suddenly seemed to grow twenty feet taller. Misao watched in shock as a great big gust of wind surrounded her. She closed her eyes and opened them later to find herself staring at a smiling rurouni.

"Ohayo!" Greeted the still smiling Soujirou.

Misao stared wide-eyed at the rurouni then closing her mouth said, "Ok smiley-boy it says in the script you have to defeat some Mouse King and then we visit some fairy creature. So let's hurry up so I can get back to my Aoshi-sama!"

"Whatever you say Makimachi-san. Let's go then."

The two then proceeded to poke around at every nook and cranny looking for the supposed Mouse King.

"OI! Mouse King! Come out now! I need to get tea for my Aoshi-sama!" Cried a very irritable Misao as she kicked an extremely large present wrapped in yellow with a purple ribbon.

There was a loud explosion from the corner of the room. With a loud poof, there appeared a person dressed in a large cape with extremely large mouse ears.

"I am the Mouse King! Ano… must sessha really do this?"

Misao turned to see Kenshin trying his best to take off the large mouse ears.

"Ok Kenshin hurry fight with Sou-kun and then stand still so I can throw my kunai- I mean shoe at you."

"But is it necessary for sessha to fight now? Sessha must finish washing the clothes, sweeping the dojo floors and cooking dinner before Kaoru-san beats… I mean before Kaoru-san comes to check on sessha's progress with the chores."

Looking and not liking the death glare that Misao was sending him the crimson-haired rurouni gave a small 'meep' and proceeded to stand in battle stance facing a still smiling Soujirou. The two rurouni stood ready and prepared to fight, only to pull out a… carrot from their sheaths?

"Look, I can't have you two fighting for real otherwise things will turn out too bloody for this fic so I replaced your katanas with carrots after all everybody loves carrots!" Misao explained smiling at the two confused rurounis.

"Ok, stand still Kenshin! Don't move!"

"Na-nani?" Squeaked Kenshin.

A large sandal the size of elephant was thrown in the direction of a still stunned Kenshin, who was promptly knocked out and his trademark 'oro' was heard from underneath the sandal.

"Ok, now that things have been settled let's move on." Misao declared rubbing her hands. "Come along Sou-kun! We have ourselves a fairy thing to visit."

Soujirou smiled and followed Misao as she stormed off the stage.

_Scene Three…_

"WHY DA HELL DO I HAVE TA DO THIS!" Demanded an extremely angry former fighter-for-hire.

Dressed in a ridiculous outfit of pink accompanied with a purple tutu and wings that glistened with too much glitter. Sulking the ridiculously dressed Sanosuke stood in the center of the stage with his arms crossed as a laughing Misao and a struggling Soujirou with his fist in his mouth to keep from laughing.

"SHUT UP YA TWO! If it had not been for the fox's threat to stop curing me for free I wouldn't even be here! Now shut up and watch carefully 'cos I ain't going to dance this stupid dance again!"

Now laughing even harder than ever, Misao was now rolling on the floor guffawing and breathless with laughter. Soujirou himself was clutching his stomach and laughing with tears in his eyes.

Angry at the two, Sanosuke gave up trying to get the two to watch his dance and angrily stormed off halfway while the music from 'The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy' was still playing.

Wiping her tears and brushing her dress, Misao grabbed a now calm Soujirou's hand and the two stood and waited as the wind blew around them and the surroundings went back to normal.

"FINALLY! THANK GOODNESS! I thought we would never finish this thing!" Misao shouted in relief. "Ok, Sou-kun it's time for you to change back! Sayonara!"

"Ano… Makimachi-san… I cannot change back yet… the script says…"

Looking irritated, Misao watched as Soujirou fumbled with his words, which was a strange sight by itself not counting the sight of Sano in a dress.

"Erm… Makimachi-san, we are underneath a… mistletoe…"

Not knowing what Soujirou was saying, Misao couldn't react when Soujirou closed the distance between them and kissed her fully on the lips. Grinning the former Tenken then he winked mischievously at Misao and then he snapped his fingers. "Ja ne!"

Shocked, Misao cold only watch as Soujirou changed back to the nutcracker he was.

"Maybe I shouldn't go to the temple today…" Misao asked aloud as she touched her lips that were still warm from the kiss. Smiling to herself, she picked up the nutcracker, kissed it and lying underneath the tree she fell asleep…

Owari

**(A/N: Yay! Merry X'mas to all! Hope you enjoyed this senseless ficcie as much as I enjoyed writing it! I tried to insert a bit of Sou/Mi fluff, hope it was enough! Merry X'mas again and remember to review!)**

_Somewhere in the background a very disgruntled Hiko Seijuuro and an extremely angry Sanosuke are seen chasing the distressed fanfic writing with the alias babyblue899, one screaming for sake and the other screaming for his dignity._

Babyblue899: SAVE ME!


End file.
